I Forgot - I Hate Nature

I really do. I mean, I like the idea of nature and I understand the importance of nature for earth's survival and my survival. I even support the efforts to teach others about the importance of nature. But I don't like actual nature, on me, near me, around me.

I used to enjoy it, I loved to walk in the woods as a kid. I remember walking through the wooded part around McCleary with my Grandpa and asking all sorts of questions. I remember finding trails in Omak with my cousins. I even liked it so much I thought I might want to spend my career in nature and with history, doing archaeology. Then I actually did join a crew and I learned about ticks. Ticks are pretty much the reason I hate nature. Ticks and chiggers and any sort of biting bugs. I survived the 4 week assignment in VA with the help of my assigned partner who graciously walked in front of me as we cut our way through the woods with machetes. He claimed he would collect all of the ticks and I would be safe. I guess it worked mostly but I sometimes found them later in my clothes.

In all my excitement about Community Supported Agriculture I forgot that it involved nature. We decided to join the local CSA (for all my history friends this of course does not stand for Confederate States of America, see above). Our orientation was this past Saturday. In fact, this weekend we received 3 invitations which is like a record for us. I was excited to see the farm and meet all of the like-minded people. It was a potluck and we had to bring our own plates, utensils and drinks. This is challenging because, what do you do with the dirty dishes? What do you bring? I had frightening visions of people judging my plastic containers or non-organic food and I became paralyzed with indecision on what to bring. In the end we brought cookies, in a plastic Ziploc bag, because I couldn't take the pressure.

The farm is beautiful, acres of land surrounding a picturesque stone house. I wanted to show you a picture but forgot the camera. On the tour we hiked through the farm and it was dirty and hot and I could feel the creepy crawlies. I was so freaked out I could hardly pay attention. They require a number of work hours to help with the farm and the thought of 7 hours out there made me want to scream. They announced that you could also use your hours serving on the board or teaching cooking classes or writing grants. I have grant writing experience, I can write grants, I totally signed up. Mark said writing a grant would take more than 7 hours but I said 20 hours grant writing is better than 7 hours hard farm labor. Because I Hate Nature, remember?

Well, back home Saturday night and guess what? I found a tick. It's really remarkable there was only one between the two of us and it hadn't started biting. But one is enough.

FYI this is also why I never owned a dog, dogs need to be walked. They prefer Nature.